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  • Haley McGee

Season 1: Episode 7 - The Cost of Love and Ethical Hedonism with Jared Philippo

Updated: Jul 2, 2021

Sexual empowerment. Sensual exploration. Safety and consent. The value of discovering and indulging our desires — in and out of lockdown.

Behind some of the most ambitious, creative and wild parties pre-pandemic, founder of Pinky Promise Jared Philippo has a lot to teach us about how we draw and communicate boundaries in our work, our relationships and ourselves.

Episode Summary

This is the seventh episode of the cost of love. Welcome.

Haley McGee is a love idiot. She’s also an actor and the author of the forthcoming book, ‘The Ex-Boyfriend Yard Sale’. On The Cost of Love Podcast she’s talking to a wide range of experts to try to figure out if the cost of love is worth it.

Each episode features a conversation between Haley and someone in the know, and they dig into that strange juicy place where love and money collide.

This episode is all about the cost of love and ethical hedonism with Jared Philippo - creative producer of the world famous Gypsy Disco and founder of the community Platform to explore, heal and express your sexuality, Pinky Promise.

In part one, ‘Everyone’s a Love Idiot’, Haley grills Jared with a series of questions that attempt to quantify his romantic history. This includes how many times he's been in love, how much he's had his heart broken, the longest time he's ever pined for someone, and the healing power of Adele!

In part two, ‘Brains Over Braun’, we apply his expertise in creative producing and the curation of spaces for ethical hedonism to the concept of the cost of love. We cover...

  • Jared's journey into creative producing, organising parties and community events

  • How and why he came to found Pinky Promise, launching the month before the first UK lockdown in 2020

  • What ethical hedonism is, and the difference between creating an environment to connect playfully, sensually and sexually versus traditional sex parties

  • The effect of the pandemic on Pinky Promise and how it's adapted to be there for the community in a different way

  • A play-by-play experience of a Pinky Promise event - from the decision to go, to finding yourself in a life drawing room, on the dance floor, in a massage parlour or a workshop on decolonising sexual spaces

  • The paramount importance of agreement and consent in sensual spaces, and how event producers can support the balance of being your most vulnerable self, and feeling totally safe

  • Haley's prudishness and how shame lives in prudes and hedonists alike

  • The common feeling of "Am I too vanilla?" and "Is my commitment to monogamy boring?"

  • How lockdown has provided an opportunity to realise that sexuality and sensuality can be a solo pursuit, and how Pinky Promise is facilitating and supporting this from afar

  • Jared's love-in-lockdown story, and how he's managing the transition from non-monogamous relationships to a currently monogamous one

  • What it means to meet your own needs and your lover's and to learn how to communicate boundaries

  • The Robin Hood model of Jared's events, using corporate gigs to keep his parties open, accessible, and with the ethos that sensuality and play is for everyone who wants it

  • Jared's hot tips and tricks for keeping relationships curious, fun, and playful in lockdown

In part three, ‘Free Hugs’, Jared and Haley answer a listener question about love and money. This time, what to do when the person you're dating is in a different tax bracket to you...Oh, and they don't know you know.

Before signing off, Haley and Jared talk touch on love languages and the way in which the cost of love can be a consideration of what we might lose - often, control. They finish by agreeing the cost of love is worth it, if with every loss, we grow.

We end with 'Turning Tables' by Adele, the song Jared Philippo listened to on repeat when going through heartbreak, and torturing his flatmates. Click the link to listen to the whole song.

About Jared Philippo

Jared Philippo (he/him) is the founder of Pinky Promise which is a community platform aiming to champion new ways to explore, heal and express your sexuality. When he isn't busying himself facilitating workshops around communicating vulnerability, you can probably find him on stage hosting cabaret shows, DJ-ing Latin beats on beaches or producing mega immersive parties as part of his theatrical production company Gypsy Disco.

You can follow Jared on Instagram @jaredphilippo1,

You can follow Pinky Promise on Instagram, Twitter @pinkypromiseuk

and on Facebook @pinkypromiseworld


Books & Some of the Other Things Mentioned

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Stay in Touch

Follow The Cost of Love on Instagram @thecostof_love, Twitter @thecostof_love and Facebook

Follow Haley McGee on Instagram @yeshaleymcgee, Twitter @yeshaleymcgee and Facebook

Submit a Question about Love & Money

Email and give us some context while you're at it! We'll try to answer it on a future episode.


Writer and Host - Haley McGee

Producer and Editor - Maddie Haynes

Editor - Gareth O'Connor

Assistant Producer - Eliza Cass

Music and Audio Production - Robert Moutrey

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